Name change
As of this month, I'll be pursuing legally changing my name to Mimi. This has been something I've thought about after my mom's suicide over a decade ago. I have a complicated relationship with my name but I'll try to keep this brief.
My mother gave me my name and I think it's a beautiful and unique name, its literal translation is "precious stone". Without getting into the heavy details, the name holds many painful memories because of my mother's BPD and how she used the name and its meaning as a way to control me. I feel a strong disconnect with my name and this disconnect has been around long before her death. Negin never felt like my name but my mother's name for me.
I put this off for many years because of guilt. Feeling like I'm giving back something precious my mom gave me. But I will always be Negin to her and I'll be Mimi for me.