Summer review
There are about 20 days left this summer but I had an itching to blog so here goes!(◕∀◕)ﾉ
Plants 🌱
I started growing outdoor plants during the spring. I planted strawberries, a jasmine bush, mini roses, and an array of balcony flowers that I do not know what they're called lol. The strawberries were really fun, I didn't realize they blossomed into flower buds and then into berries! They were tiny and sweet and each batch became smaller - I was probably supposed to prune or give them more plant food oopsie. The mini-roses I bought on a whim on sale from Home Depot did not survive very long and I'm not sure why LOL. The jasmine is still going strong and I love harvesting some of the fallen flowers and bringing them inside for some lovely fragrance (it's my favorite smell as evident from my many jasmine note perfumes..) The balcony flowers are doing 'okay', the left most one I planted is taking over and bullying the other ones heh.
Indoor plants are all thriving minus my dracaena that is dropping random leaves (┳_┳)!! I'm convinced I need to change out the soil - this always seems to happen with plants I buy from Ikea, I'm assuming the soil content is not as great as the ones I buy from plant stores? One annoying thing is realizing how expensive a plant hobby is over the years - as plants become bigger I need to buy bigger and often more expensive pots OTL.
VELD
We went to VELD again this year! I was most excited for A&B, Meduza, Dom Dolla, and RezzMau5 but I have to say I was somewhat disappointed with Rezzmau5 - I think Rezz is a bit too sleepo for me and the set felt more Rezz than mau5. On Saturday I went with my husband waaaay too early and we both got too zooted to kill time and became omega anxious since we're both pretty light smokers ಠ⌣ಠ. We ended up sitting by one of the tents and started playing who's the secret agent (surprisingly a lot of undercover security/cops and it's funny how I never noticed them until I was sober LOL, they're super obvious with their walkie-talkies and how they move around). That was actually pretty fun and it helped our anxieties. We had a girl sitting next to us who started chatting with us cause she wasn't feeling well and I was way too zooted to hold the conversation LMAO. But she was in good hands, she had a big friend group who were all super supportive and it was nice seeing them teach her about PLUR. All in all, day 2 was mostly pretty chill minus me eating fries and ruining my drop oops LOL. My best friend and her fiance stayed over the night and we ended up going on day 3 together. I was super excited for Meduza and Dom Dolla and they were amazing but the stage they were playing on was way too small for their popularity.
I've been a bit more introspective this time around. I wish I had more confidence to dance the way I do when I'm dropping. I like how I feel less self-conscious and my social anxiety disappears. In some ways, it heals my soul, I become more accepting of myself and the anxious voice in my head disappears. I'm more receptive to conversations because I'm not in my head so much. I can see why some therapists use it for people with PTSD - I wish these drugs weren't so villainized and the early propaganda has set us so far back. When done responsibly (testing your drug, ensuring a good set/setting, taking long breaks, not mixing with other substances) - it's less harmful than alcohol. I genuinely feel like it can elevate therapy too, similar to how LSD feels like spring cleaning for the brain.
Anyway, I digress. I think the novelty of VELD has worn off and there are much better outdoor festivals in Canada/NA. We're going to do ilesoniq in Montreal next year - better lineup and a much nicer festival atmosphere (VELD had a Shein booth this year LOL?) I've always loved EDM specifically progressive techno/trance and house. I really hope I can see Eric Prydz and Kaskade someday - they're on my bucket list! And on my super bucket list is going to Tomorrowland when I'm ballin'.
Work
I'm starting to feel more comfortable and confident at work. It's a company that feels like it fosters self-driven attributes. Every sprint, I grab something I'm completely unfamiliar with to challenge myself. I'm constantly scared of regressing, mostly because many people in tech mention working at big companies means dying as a developer. I don't necessarily agree with that, I think it's easier to coast at larger companies because of all the warm bodies but people who care about their career often don't. At a startup, I felt constantly stressed and I learned FAST but I didn't learn WELL. I didn't learn best practices. It was often a matter of just shipping and closing your eyes (and being anxious all weekend) and hoping you didn't break prod since we lacked test coverage or the time to implement (and lack of QA altogether). At my current company, everything is done so methodically. It's a mature company with a lot of great processes in place. It slows me down but it doesn't slow down my growth. I'm happy I got to experience working at a startup but I don't think I can do it again unless it's a product I genuinely believe in with people I enjoy working with.
I got another bonus which I'm really happy about. I feel like raises/promotions are a good way of quieting the negative thoughts/imposter syndrome lol. It's tangible proof that I'm doing better than I think I am. I'm hoping someday I don't need tangible reminders and I just feel confident in myself as a developer and coworker.
Montreal
On the topic of work - my company did an all-hands in Montreal. I got to meet most of my team in-person which was really nice (and so much company swag hehe..) ಠ⌣ಠ I got to experience business class on the train which was a truly wild experience (a stoaway pretending to know us, a guy drinking out of a 2L orange crush, an older lady not knowing how to use her headphones while watching TikTok clips LMAO). The early boarding, seats and service was really nice though - I'd definitely pay out of pocket to do it again. I met a lot of staff engineers who I worked with and who were always so intimidating to me. Meeting them in person made me realize that they're just regular charming people. (-*)ノ I ended up playing a boardgame with them and I gave them the ol' GG no re. It blows my mind how much money probably goes into these sorts of multiday conferences with how big the venue is, the quality of the hotel, all the transportation fees, and the catering.
Montreal itself was wonderful! It was nice coming back after 2 decades and not recognizing anything. I love the number of multiplexes and how much character it brings to a city versus condo buildings. I really hope Toronto moves towards that now that we have slightly more relaxed zoning laws. I know Montreal is becoming unaffordable too but it still has so much character because of how much more affordable it is than somewhere like Toronto/Vancouver. There were a lot of mom-and-pop stores that I'm starting to miss in Toronto. Also, thrifting in Montreal is 1000x better than in Toronto. I ate so many carbs in Montreal (bagels, smoked meat sandwiches, fried Polish rolls??, and more bagels) The nightlife seems more vibrant and there urban planning just made more sense (way more pedestrian only streets). Also the subway was so much cleaner and nicer which blew my mind. I can't wait to visit again when we go to ilesoniq. ╰(´︶`)╯
Ghibli & Smiskis
This is a random heading but I've been rewatching Ghibli movies and checking off some of the ones I haven't seen (like watching Grave of the Fireflies on the train and being a hot mess/sobbing LMAO). But more importantly, we got tickets to see the Boy and the Heron on my husband's birthday - it's the first NA showing!! Ticketmaster was a pain in the butt and I just kept trying out of sheer desperation and we ended up getting tickets despite the service rep letting us know they were sold out during the pre-sale for premium members.
I've been collecting Smiskis for maybe..6 years now? Recently a Smiski discord community opened up and I did my first trade! The community is super friendly and it's funny how this is the first community in years that I feel drawn to.
Random Walks and PokeGO
My husband and I started playing PokeGO for fun again to get us out of the house a bit more and it's definitely increased my average steps per day but most importantly it's made me explore my neighborhood more. It's been really fun and we started exploring more of Cabbage Town and finding random mom-and-pop shops. We found a bakery that sells well priced and delicious loafs and confectionary, an icecream shop that sells novelty flavors (like Bang Bang) that's SO cheap and delicious, on top of Riverdale park and so much more. I can't wait for fall to be here so I'm not sweating buckets while exploring lol.
End note
I really enjoy blogging but I find these longer form blogs a bit more draining especially since my thoughts come in erratically and I often forget to document things. I think that's partially why my blog cadence is all over the place. I have sooo much I want to document and look back on that I often get too overwhelmed to start. I find uploading pictures on bearblog a bit more of a hassle too even though I love taking and sharing pictures. That's why I think things like Insta/Twitter felt easier since it forced more short-form content. I haven't used Instagram in 3+ months and have no interest in going back. And twitter is..well lol. I guess I'm trying to find a place where it's easier to document shorter day-to-day thoughts and pictures. I think the only longer form (3+ paragraphs) content I like to write is my "favorites". I wish there was a community where posts didn't feel so curated - I'd love to see what people were up to on a regular day. I'll probably do some searching around..